Some years ago, our dear friend Ernest was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and, after receiving treatment, decided to let the disease take its natural course. He lived for about six months more in a remarkably rich, full way. He remained intellectually engaged, was dignified in dealing with his illness and its physical effects, was receptive to others’ needs and interests, and continued to make friends.
Visiting him was a joyful experience, and he seemed remarkably sanguine about his prognosis. I asked him about his intentions for this phase of his life and he said “I intend to be well until I die”. He achieved that goal remarkably well. I learned a great deal from him.
John (not his real name) is a successful lawyer. He is highly compensated, married with three children and regularly competes in triathlons. He is fit, energetic and has no medical problems of which he is aware. However, John lives in an internal world of constant stress, anxiety and potential conflict. He works with, but does not trust, his professional colleagues, perceives life as a “zero sum game”, infrequently praises his team members (but can be exceedingly blunt with his criticism), gets frustrated with his family and rarely sleeps well.
Despite his seeming good health, he worries constantly about having medical problems and is convinced that “the other shoe” will drop sometime soon in his life. He is anxious and feels on edge.